Children, teens and schools
I have sat on both sides of that table.
Years of school social work, special education curriculum development, and training for county superintendents, alongside a private practice. When a family is trying to get the right support in place, it helps that I know how the system talks to itself.
Brandy Roggentien, LCSW, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) #22723. Pupil Personnel Services credential.
What families bring
Usually a child who has changed, and a school that has noticed in a way the family finds either unhelpful or alarming. Sometimes the reverse: a family who can see something clearly and a school that keeps saying it will settle down.
- A child whose behavior at school does not match the child at home.
- School refusal, which is almost always anxiety wearing a different coat.
- A teenager who has withdrawn, and parents unsure whether this is ordinary adolescence or something else.
- Assessment, diagnosis and the long wait that often sits between them.
- An IEP or 504 plan that exists on paper and is not happening in the classroom.
- A family exhausted by advocating, who need someone who already speaks the language.
Where my background helps
I have written special education curriculum and delivered workshop training to county superintendents across several districts, and I worked as a primary independent specialist at the Assessment and Collaborative Treatment Center. That matters to a parent for one practical reason: I know what a school can actually do, what it is obliged to do, and the difference between a request that gets filed and a request that gets actioned.
Practical things that change outcomes
- Put every request in writing. Email is fine. It creates a date, and dates create obligations.
- Ask for specific things. "He needs more support" is not actionable. A named accommodation, in a named setting, is.
- Keep the file. Reports, emails, work samples, the dates things were said. Parents who keep records get better outcomes, reliably.
- Separate the child from the problem in how you talk about it at home, including when you are tired and it is the fourth time this week.
- Get your own support. Advocating for a struggling child is relentless, and parents routinely arrive here having absorbed years of it without naming any of it as their own difficulty.
Questions from families
My child is struggling at school. Where do I even start?
Start by writing to the school and asking, in writing, for an assessment. A verbal conversation with a teacher is not a request and does not start any clock. Put it in an email, keep the reply, and date everything. That single step changes more outcomes than anything else I tell parents.
Do you attend IEP meetings?
I can support families preparing for them, help you work out what to ask for and in what order, and make sense of the documents beforehand. Whether I attend depends on the case and we would discuss it directly.
Do you work with autistic children?
My early career was applied behavior analysis, trained through UCLA's program under Ivar Lovaas and his associates at the Center for Autism and Related Disorders, where I worked as a supervising senior behavior specialist. I bring that background to families navigating assessment, school support and the ordinary stress that sits around all of it.
My teenager refuses to talk to anyone.
Common, and not disqualifying. Teenagers usually refuse the idea of therapy rather than the experience of it. I am direct and I do not perform enthusiasm at them, which tends to land better than warmth that has not been earned yet. The first session can be short.
Can you work with the parents rather than the child?
Often that is the better intervention, particularly with younger children. What changes a child's week fastest is usually a change in how the adults around them are responding. Plenty of my most useful work never involves the child in the room.
Start with a phone call
Describe what is happening with your child or your teenager. I will tell you what I think, including when what I think is that the school is the place to push rather than the therapy room.